Cathy
& Finlay's Birth Story
 When
I was sixteen my older sister gave birth to a
beautiful baby girl at home in a birth pool. Then
and there, I decided that when my time came to
have a baby, that’s how I’d do it.
Twelve years later, my time had come, and home
birth was still the obvious choice for me. I was
determined to labour without drugs for the sake
of the baby – so that he/she would have
the most positive, conscious first experiences
in the world, and so that I would be best able
to give my full attention to him/her after the
birth. My partner, Brent, took a little convincing,
but when we discussed how important it is for
a child to enter the world in a warm, calm, loving
environment, and how home birth is just as safe
as hospital birth, he embraced the idea whole-heartedly.
Friday morning I awoke at 2am
with my first contractions. My midwife, Kerry,
had suggested that if this happened during the
night that I try to go back to sleep and rest
as much as possible to save my energy for the
long hours ahead. I did manage to get a few broken
hours of sleep and by sunrise the contractions
had stopped altogether. I called my Kerry and
she said that this was completely normal since
the baby was in a posterior position (despite
all our best efforts in the months leading up
to the birth, we were unable to encourage the
baby to move into a good position) and that this
might go on for a few days. We had a long journey
ahead of us!
I was very happy when the contractions
started up again at about 4pm Friday afternoon.
These were much more regular, but manageable.
It wasn’t until about 1am that the intensity
of the contractions caught me off-guard and I
suddenly felt like I needed assistance. Brent
called Kerry, but when we described the nature
of the contractions she said it sounded like we
were still in the early stages and that we should
try and get some sleep – she would come
and see us in the morning. Sleep was not an option
for me this time! I couldn’t bear to lie
down so I spent the next few hours kneeling across
the bed while Brent got a few hours of sleep.
When the contractions reached a new level of intensity
I woke him up and we spent the rest of the night
finding our own way of being with the pain and
getting used to the rhythm of the contractions.
One of the most powerful ways I found of managing
the pain was to sing and hum through each contraction.
This gave me something to focus on and somewhere
to direct my energy. Brent was there with me through
every single contraction – singing or humming
with me and finding harmonies that resonated through
my body so that the pain was much more manageable.
Kerry arrived at 9am and examined
me, unexpectedly causing my waters to break. Then
she delivered the news – I was only 1cm
dilated. I couldn’t imagine that all those
hours of labouring had been so unproductive. There
was not much more she could do for us at that
time so she left us to keep working at it until
we felt that we needed assistance.
At around the same time, our
friend Sam arrived. Sam is
a doula and pregnancy masseuse, and we had
invited her along so that she could gain the experience
of attending a home birth. Though I never expected
her to act as a doula during my labour, she ended
up playing a pivotal role in helping me stay at
home when things felt too overwhelming. One thing
that I had not realised in the planning stages
was that the job of birth partner is too big for
one person if you are staying at home. There is
just too much to do! Providing food and water,
filling the birth pool, toilet breaks, decision-making,
calls to the midwife… all the while trying
to be present for each contraction to provide
moral support. I will forever be grateful for
the fact that Sam was with us that day, not only
to help Brent in his role, but for constantly
reminding me that I was on the right track. It
was incredibly reassuring to have someone there
with us who was so knowledgeable about the birth
process.
Before long, the pain was beginning
to feel unbearable, and Sam suggested that through
each contraction Brent squeeze my middle-back
muscles together to break the line of communication
from my lower-body to my brain, reducing my experience
of pain. This saved me throughout the rest of
the labour. Incidentally, while I was in labour
I completely forgot that the baby was still in
a posterior position, which is why I was experiencing
such pain with his back pressing on my spine.
I’m happy that nobody mentioned it at all
throughout the day, as if I had been conscious
of this I think my mind would have focused even
more on the intensity and made it much more unmanageable.
Meanwhile, Brent continued to
support me in a way that showed that he was devoted
to helping me get through, and that he was 100%
committed to me and our baby. I think this would
have been much more difficult if we had been in
a hospital environment. Being at home in our own
space allowed us to act in the most natural, un-self-conscious
way possible and the experience has definitely
deepened our relationship.
By about 2:30pm I had completely
disappeared into myself and Sam suggested to Brent
that it might be time to call Kerry back. While
we waited for her to arrive they filled the birth
pool and I focused on how much I couldn’t
wait to get in. I was sure that the water would
take the edge off the pain and allow me to relax
a little.
Kerry arrived at 3pm and delivered
more bad news – I was only 2-3cm. I was
devastated. It had been almost 24 hours at this
stage and knowing how ineffectual all these contractions
had been was completely demoralising. I was particularly
upset because I knew that I wasn’t supposed
to get in the birth pool until I was 5cm, and
the thought of getting in there had kept me going
for the past hour. At this point, we knew that
if things didn’t change we would have to
move to the hospital for intervention. Kerry gave
us a few options: she offered to administer some
acupuncture needles, and she suggested that I
take a homeopathic remedy, Caulophylum, to help
speed things up. I agreed to both these things
(anything to get things moving!) but insisted
that I had to get in the pool, which I did.
Whichever of these things worked,
I’m not sure, but after labouring in the
pool for 1 ½ hours, listening to a relaxation
CD to help me relax and open up, I felt like my
body was ready to push this baby out! Sam called
Kerry but she was at the hospital with another
woman in labour so she sent her back-up midwife,
Melissa, who arrived at 5:30pm. I had never met
her before, but the moment she walked through
the door, I knew I could trust her completely.
She examined me and gave me the best news I’d
had all day – I was 9cm dilated!
The next two hours seemed to
fly by. Knowing that I was so close to the end
gave me a burst of energy and made the pain more
bearable. I spent some time in the shower and
walking around the house while everyone helped
to refill the birth pool to the right temperature.
At 7:10pm I hopped back into the pool and again
I felt a renewed sense of energy. I also noticed
that after being in my own world for so long,
I now returned mentally and was able to talk and
communicate once again. Once I actively started
pushing I felt incredibly strong and completely
in control – such a great feeling after
feeling so out of control with the contractions
throughout the day. There had definitely been
a few moments earlier in the day where I had thought
‘maybe an epidural wouldn’t be such
a bad thing after all….’ but I am
really happy that I never had any pain medication
so that I could fully appreciate the empowerment
of this pushing phase.
At 7:45pm our baby emerged into
the water – a beautiful baby boy! I was
able to reach down and lift him to the surface,
bring him to my chest and stare straight into
his eyes. He quietly expelled the mucus from his
lungs without so much as a cry, while he quietly
looked at Brent and I, and soon started searching
for my nipple. Such a graceful start to life!
Finlay Brent Grapes had joined our family.
 Throughout
all this, Melissa stood back and observed him
from a distance so that this magical moment was
not interrupted. Just 10 minutes after, Kerry
arrived and couldn’t believe she had missed
the whole thing!
The next few hours were filled
with so much joy and I will forever be grateful
for how well both our midwives looked after us
during this time. I was definitely buzzing from
all the positive birth hormones coursing through
my body, and this continued for the next few days.
Finlay was alert, peaceful and fed beautifully.
My own body bounced back very quickly and by the
next morning I felt like I was ready to conquer
the world.
In the weeks since, I have had
time to reflect on that tumultuous day and to
realise how lucky I was to be in my own home for
the duration of my labour. I am quite sure that
if I had been in hospital my situation would have
been classified ‘failure to progress’,
and that I would not have had the option to continue
naturally. Despite the intensity of the pain,
I would not change anything about my birth. Anything
seems possible now that I have achieved such a
feat… And we’re already looking forward
to the next one!
You
might be interested in the Joyful Childbirth 3
hour Antenatal Class for Natural Pain Relief |
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